Change restrictions With new drivers

Currently when one gets his license, he has to wait for 6 months to be able to drive friends other than immediate family members. This is BS. Although I can understand why this restriction is currently in place, I recommend an alternative based on fair assessment of a drivers capability. People, such as myself, who were given a pass on the license test before the test was even over should be allowed to drive friends immediately. I would also recommend making the test harder, there is a constant stereotype of teen drivers as irresponsible and incapable drivers, this situation is most likely caused by the fact that currently the driving test is easy enough to be completed by a reasonably alert golden retriever. would we let a golden retriever drive a car? No. And neither should we allow people who really are not ready to drive, drive. Driving isn't a right, it is not guaranteed by the constitution, nor the declaration of independence, so let us not treat it as though it is so. Would I hand just anyone a hand gun? No. A hand gun is dangerous if used improperly( and in war dangerous either way), a car is also dangerous if used incorrectly, it is akin to a 2 ton wrecking ball. So let us not let someone who couldn't be trusted use either of these things. If the test were simply a bit harder, we wouldn't have to worry about easily distracted persons (those who would be distracted by friends) getting into a car. Only responsible people would, and thus we would have no need for a half-year period before one can drive friends.

Cheese

Bare feet vs. feet with shoes

I often choose not to wear shoes when I don't have to. I find that shoes are very restricting and that bare feet are much more fun and natural. Yet people seem repulsed when I am not wearing shoes, like feet are alien concepts to most people. What I am especially confused by is people telling me that bare feet are 'disgusting', what confuses me here is this: taking off shoes does not suddenly make a clean floor dirty, people wearing shoes are stepping on the exact same thing and yet, somehow, bare feet are more disgusting. I just don't get it. Wearing shoes is also un-American. The declaration of Independence states that all men are created equal, and 'men' has an e in it, as does the word 'feet', thus substituting feet in for men, we get, all feet are created equal, thus a foot with a shoe is exactly the same, by the definition of equal, as a foot without a shoe. I rest my case. bare feet are just as disgusting as non-bare feet. Pop the champagne.

Not an easy task

"As is our company custom, I challenge you for the presidency of our company!" Those were the first words out of mark's mouth as he exits the elevator on the top floor of Jacob and Son's gun company. "Fine then, I hope you know what you are getting into" remarked Jacobson, who had fought his father for the presidency of the company and won many years ago. Spinning around Jacobson reaches for his knife and flings the object at Mark, sidestepping the hurled piece of metal mark draws his own revolver and lifts the weapon as Jacobson dives over to the painting of his father, hurling it down and flinging open the weapons locker behind it grabbing the first thing he can get he rolls away as bullets pepper the walls behind him, remarking "this was is a dumb way of deciding company president...". Looking down at his hand Jacobson finds he is holding a tomahawk, "not the weapon I was hoping for...", Jacobson had since taken refuge behind a pillar towards the back wall of the room and cries out, "You wanna give up yet?" He then takes an axe hitting the wall behind him as a no. And so the fight continues, random bits of metal being hurled back and forth, and retorts thrown including the memorable, "ha! You throw like a girl" eventually all the weapons are out of ammo, and all sharp peices of metal stuck in various walls the men get to fist fighting. Wresting each other down to the ground they end up over by the windows, Jacobson then screams," If I cant be president neither can you!" and tackles Mark tossing both of them out the side window and down fourty stories, eyewitness reports state that it appears mark was President for about .025 of a second before hitting the ground too.

A brief thought on the abuse of the word 'like'

I'm not entirely sure what happened to make the word like such a valuable stalling phrase, up with the grand company of umm and er, these phrases add nothing to everyday life other than a bit more CO2 into the air that I am attempting to breath.

Somehow this word has made it's way into daily speach quoth its presence as the first item on google when looking up definition of like-

1. informal

   used to convey a person's reported attitude or feelings in the form of direct speech (whether or not representing an actual quotation).

   "so she comes into the room and she's like “Where is everybody?”"

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My only question is why use this word in such a manner, what was wrong with just saying 'and she says...' rather than needing to butcher the meaning of like? As I mentioned above, I find words that are used simply to stall and avoid silence to be so completely unnecessary, unprofessional and truly repulsive for lack of a better word, silence conveys great thought being put into carefully arranging the words as an art form, umm on the other hand conveys a fear that other people will have stopped listening to you and will interrupt if one so much as stops emitting toxic gas for a pause. Now, please do not take this rant as my saying that I am utterly perfect in every way shape and form, removing that tendency to keep talking is not easy to put it mildly, but its good to realize that it is not necessary to punctuate every sentence with one like per every 3 other words, being aware of a problem is at least a step toward fixing it; now some may say that there is no problem with the improper usage of the word like, and perhaps there isn't an issue if one likes the people around him to sound like a broken record. I can think of no other person who illustrates this more than President Obama, Mr. President used to take quite the care in avoiding the usage of stalling words and sounded far better and much more intelligent for the lack of  umms and errss intruding on an otherwise very well thought out speech. long story short the usage of these words to stall for time just seems to lower the iq of the person speaking 30 points, at least to me it does, please do feel free to post dissenting views, you have nothing to fear except for immediate censure. Have a nice day

-Jackson

The life of a bow.

Ahem, thank you, allow me to begin that I am no ordinary bow, I am the magical talking bow of awesome, I granted myself to king thyciulides and am for his and his son's use only. So this king thinks he has royal subjects, well he is not the only one, under my command are a vast array of pointy things for which to be flung into squishy screaming things. People sometimes ask me, well perhaps his majesty, but they should ask me, if I get enjoyment out of this delegation. The king typically answers yes, though the humans don't tend to call him king, they address him as Mr. Ian sane, ohh and how they pay for their disrespect when the bow of magical sparkling vengeance comes for them in the night. Perhaps you think my blood lust unnecessary, well we will see how you think when magical bow of death and despair comes for you in the night :D. Ahem, right where was I? Oh yes, my subjects, they tend to be pretty tall, most of them are pretty smart, the sharper knives of the drawer if you get me,  but they do get rather dumb in their old age so they are replaced and sentenced to being abandoned. CRUEL? YOU THINK ME CRUEL!!!!???11111!!!!! MAGICAL BOW SMITE! Calm, very calm, well most days are pretty dull, I keep my subjects training against some less fun, non-bleeding targets and they seem to more or less get the gist of what their purpose is, a few troublemakers now and again are swiftly dealt with but I keep my men in line.the fun begins on the days when the squishy targets come out oh the men do enjoy those kinda days, to see their training pay off and hear the yelp of agonizing success. ahhh quite a fun time, don't you think? Duty calls, Adios.

A wee lad takes a crash course in public speaking

Lets see, lets see, an event to do with courage? Bah, sensible people who aren't willing to risk their lives don't need courage! Or do they? My first real experience with public speaking came at my aunt's wedding, at which I stood likely only at a meager 5 ft. 2 and was barely in middle school. At this occasion people were standing up and telling stories, amusing tidbits, anecdotes about either bride, yes, my aunt is gay, what of it? I sat down and watched and listened as one by one adults got up and talked, but deep down inside me a thought was forming, I want to be big and brave like them. So I did, I kept waiting for the right moment for a pause in the constant stream of adults, and then I got up, and I told a story my mom had told me, about when she and her now married sister were little girls. Was this story worth standing up and being said by a visibly shaking little boy? Perhaps not to anybody else, but to that little boy, he had been victorious! The grand champion of them all! One to be praised and admired for centuries to come! Statues! Fame! Money! all now easily within his grasp, all because he found the strength inside of him to stand up in front of a group of big people and tell stories like them.
-Jackson.